... and I'm considered one of the 'lucky' ones?

This is ludicrous. I’m currently having to wait for a specialist bed to become available, so I can be treated in hospital for my anorexia. But because there’s such a shortage I will have to wait weeks. In fact, Sussex, where I currently receive treatment, has no adult eating disorder inpatient facility at all, which is why I am being referred for inpatient treatment in London or Norwich. 

…yet I’m considered one of the ‘lucky ones’, as at least I’m deemed ‘ill enough’ to warrant a bed. Yes, you did read that right… I’m ‘lucky’. You see, your weight has to be critical enough, or your bloods have to be messed up enough to even be put on the waiting list for a bed. 

Should I feel lucky that I’ve got ‘bad enough’ to get the help I currently receive? People with cancer don’t have to wait for it to spread a bit further to get treatment… so why is anorexia any different? My family are literally having to watch me waste away in front of their eyes, not because I’m choosing to, but because this is an ILLNESS, and there aren’t enough resources in place to treat it. 

Of course, they will say that if I were an ‘urgent case’ I would be cared for, as I would be admitted to a general medical ward. Let me clarify that for you; I have to wait until my heart starts failing, at which point I will be rushed into hospital to be stabilised (if they can do that by then), then discharged back into the community and put back on the waiting list for a bed in an actual eating disorder hospital/ward. So, I will be cared for… but only when it’s too late.

If I wasn’t already frustrated enough at the lack of support in place for eating disorder treatment, this evening I came across this news article: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6573161/Girl-15-given-anti-depressants-help-anorexia-hanged-herself.html

The saddest part is this story is one of many; anorexia has the highest suicide rate of all mental illnesses. Yet despite knowing this, it’s still not taken seriously… until it’s too late. 

That’s because it’s not anyone’s fault is it… the blame is merely shifted from NHS to politicians, to Department of Health, to the Treasury. But in the meantime this poor girl, Ellie, has just become another of the 1 in 5 who didn’t make it. When will people learn? 

In the meantime, I have to just keep waiting, hoping I too don’t become a 1 in 5.